Whole Again

What I wanted most was to grab a shower and take a nap. I hadn't got to sleep until five o clock that morning. I dropped my clothes on the chair and walked into the stall shower, turning on the needle spray. I couldn't feel the tightness leave my muscles under the soothing warmth. The telephone rang several times while I was in the shower. I let it ring.

I did a lot for Wynn, but when I came out of the shower I picked up the phone and told his secretary that I didn't want any calls until four o'clock.

The ring of the telephone woke me. I never wear wrist watches, but I sometimes search for it on my wrist to look for time. Anyway, the phone said it was four. I reached for the receiver. It was Wynn himself. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all afternoon," he said. "Where the hell have you been."

"Sleeping."

"Sleeping!" he shouted. "We have a board meeting over at Haft office. We are due there right now."

"Sorry Wynn I didn't know."

"No worries, its next door from your hotel anyway."

Our meeting? It was funny the way things worked. One day I sat at his place sulking at my misfortunes and wondering what he could do for me, and the next, I'm his right hand man. I go to his meetings. I talk to his people. His clients. He was a good man. He understood well the little things in life, and trusted me. He knew what I was capable and not capable of, and made full use of that. Then and only then, this would explain the fact that he never frowned even when his right hand man was sleeping when it was time for a board meeting.


The meeting was ok. I came back and slept some more in my room for 15 minutes. Woke up, and called room service. While I was waiting for an answer, a knock came at the door. "Yes," I yelled.

From the bed I saw Wynn and Akad enter. When they came in the room, Wynn's face wore its usual worried look that bore no significance to anything whatsoever, while Akad's (an advisor of Wynn's) was smothered in a stone cold expression as always. They were always on the verge of getting what they wanted, and wore the same faces.

Room service finally came on the line. In the background, I could hear the clatter of dishes and suddenly I was hungry. I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I ordered three steak sandwiches, a bottle of milk, a pot of black tea, bottle of scotch for them and a double order of fries. I put down the telephone and looked up at them. "Well how'd it go?"

"You were there, it went good good." Wynn had a habit of repeating the word good, whenever he said it.

Labels: booze, business, desi, drugs, fantasy, fiction, fortune, lose, love, memoire, reality, sex, win

Now I know.

Networking is worthless, and pointless without its leverage. The young saplings should be taught how to network in workshops, but should never be allowed in the real world with the practice, until they have...leverage.

After all, networking is like trading. You wouldn't walk up to someone to barter with, if you had nothing would you?

Labels: business, classes, college, lessons, life, networking, skills, uh, uhd

There are 6 types of People in Pakistan. And Maybe This Can Apply to The Rest of the Third...err Developing World as Well.

• The Middle Class
  (Essentially the core thats keeping Pakistan's economy a performer. The honest, most productive element of the society)
  
  
• Extremists
  (Educated, religious zealots with agendas)
  
  
• Organized Criminals
  (Political party leadership)
  
  
• Anarchists
  (Political party workers)
  
  
• Petty Criminals
  (The thugs, robbers, thieves...basically anyone who may commit a crime)
  
  
• The Rich
  (The people who run Pakistan, and every country. Also see organized criminals.)
  
  
• The Illiterate
  (The giant mass, which all the above parties (except the middle class) may use and harness the power of, when needed.)

About me

I take offense to someone being a jerk/asshole without reason.
I frequently do things on impulse.
My life often seems to have no meaning.
I'm not afraid to be the first to try something.
I always go out of my way to help others.
I dislike challenges.
In school, math was easy for me...to teach to others. I failed it often myself.
I enjoy working on easy crossword puzzles.
I genuinely enjoy helping people.
Being part of a large crowd is exciting.
I do not understand why stars twinkle.
I don't really care what other people think of me and I find that philosophy beautiful
I sometimes think I would like to do research.
I hate reading poetry.
I love perfection in oral poetry.
I enjoy meeting new people.
I am a hard and steady worker.
I love the hustle and bustle of city crowds.
I would like a job that requires traveling.
I can never multiply large numbers quickly.
I often feel anxious.
In a group, I never attract attention to myself.
If something is worth doing, it is worth doing well.
I get tired of doing things the same old way, but for a greater cause i'd be worth it.
I am good at inventing games, stories, or rhymes.
People will steal if they are sure they won't get caught.
I'm known as a wit.
I often think about the reasons for my actions.
I do not find Greek mythology interesting.
At times the future seems hopeless to me.
I wouldn't go to a party every night if I could.
I would rather work a hard labor job, given a choice.
I tend to be rightfully critical of others.
I rarely get angry with others.
I am fascinated by great science fiction.
I like not knowing what tomorrow will bring.
I rightfully hold grudges for a long time.
Sometimes I am hard to get along with.
Most people are nice once you get to know them.
I am a sociable person.
I would like to be an inventor.
I find it easy to act naturally when I am with new people.
I dislike detective stories.
When I'm in a bad mood, no one can please me.
When people are nice to me I wonder what they want.
I would like to be a deep-sea diver.
I have taken things apart just to see how they work.
Sometimes nothing seems to matter to me.
I have little self-confidence at times.
I strive for perfection in everything I do.
Most of the time I expect to succeed.
In school, I was frequently rebellious.
I despise competitive people and consider them pathetic.
When someone gives me a job to do I finish it no matter what.
I have never fully trusted anyone.
I sometimes pretend to know more than I do.
I am an overly forgiving person.
I often wonder how I got to be the way I am.
I do not work well with other people.
I am confused about what I want to be.
I am careful about my appearance.
It upsets me to hurt people's feelings.
I am good at telling jokes and funny stories.
I don't care if others like the things I do.
I expect to succeed in things I do.
Life is no fun when you play it safe.
I am always arguing with people.
I am not very inventive.
When I am in a bad mood, I let other people know it.
I think crowded public events (rock concerts, sports events) are very exciting.
My success depends on my appearance.
I like parties and socials.
I would rather work with facts than people.
I often analyze my motives.
I have a lot of friends, almost all who I consider acquaintances.
I never resent being asked for a favor.
I am usually calm.
I can get along with just about anybody.
I can use a microscope.
I like doing things that no one else has done.
I don't let little things bother me.
Sometimes I feel like a failure.
Entering a room full of people doesn't make me uncomfortable.
People think I am a nonconformist.
I would like to go mountain climbing.
I don't mind criticizing people, especially when they need it.
Happiness is not more important than fame and vice versa.
I am often irritated by faults in others.
Putting on an act for people is often necessary.
I seldom set high standards for myself.
I don't enjoy a game unless I win.
I always try to see the other person's point of view.
I am almost always too hot or too cold.
I am an ambitious person.
I would like to change a lot of things about my past.
I like to give orders and get things moving.
I have a good memory.
I can't do anything well.
My successes mean a lot to me.
Most people are not as honest as they seem.
I'm pretty careful in my work.
I would rather read than watch TV.
I would like to change a lot of things about myself.
I never resent not getting my way.
In school I didn't like math.
I think I would enjoy having authority over people.
I don't mind talking in front of a group of people.
I feel guilty about some of the things I have done.
I enjoy making people feel better.
I always notice when people are upset.
I don't care for large, noisy crowds.
I am a quick-witted person.
I am cranky and irritable when I don't feel well.
I am a leader in my group.
I would like to learn to scuba dive.
In school, talking in front of the class was easy for me.
I seldom pay attention to how I look.
I do my job as well as I possibly can.
I would enjoy skydiving.
I would rather stay home and read than go to a party.
I am a follower, not a leader.
When something doesn't work I usually want to know why.
I get depressed a lot.
I don't feel guilty about being the center of attention.
I get away with a lot of things.
I'm known for coming up with good ideas.
Other people's opinions of me are not important.
Planning things in advance is quintessential to life.
I never was and never will be a good salesperson.
Most people make friends because they want something from them.
If you want justice in this world, then you must be ready to fight for it.
Sometimes I am not sure what I really believe.
I never let others make my big decisions.
I don't have high standards for my performance at work.
I love it when the phone is ringing and people want to talk.
I sometimes put off doing things for people I don't like.
I have some powerful enemies.
Pictures of starving children don't bother me.
I always keep my word, whatever the cost.
I only out of necessity, ask other people for help.
People sometimes take me for granted.
Other people recognize my talent, although they may not always say so.
I do not feel nervous when all eyes are fixed on me.
I don't appreciate people giving me advice about how to do my job.
I have had several stormy personal relationships.
Sometimes I feel a kind of power around me.
At work, I am known as a colorful character.
I am indifferent to the suffering of animals.
Little things seem to bother me a lot.
I consider myself a loner.
I like to make a schedule and stick to it.
I take pride in the accuracy and precision of my work.
I would never take a job that is beneath me.
I believe in getting things done and shit
Because of my unusual gifts, few people are close to me.
People can often sense my power.
No one ever got ahead by being modest.
It doesn't embarrass me to make an honest mistake.
People sometimes think my appearance is a little unusual.
When people criticize my work, I usually ignore them.
At work, people often ask me to do more than my fair share.
I am a good listener no matter whom I talk to.
I think traveling in a group, to a foreign country would be stressful.
At work I am careful to check with my boss before making decisions.
My life is not very interesting.
People often disappoint me.
I often start conversations with strangers.
I usually try to tell people what they want to hear.
There are some people I will never forgive.
Sometimes I know what people are going to say before they say it.
People with my special talents don't need many friends.
People find me attractive.
Sometimes my life seems empty.
In groups, I am often one of the first to speak.
I have almost never broken off a friendship.
I can get angry quickly.
In a group, I don't mind expressing unpopular opinions.
I like work that requires close attention to details
I have my own private words.
I don't have many close friends.
I do not have a natural talent for leadership.
I am easily embarrassed.
I am a good role player.
My moods can change quickly.
Few people have seen what I have seen.
It doesn't bother me to criticize or contradict the persons who are above me at work.

I read "The Great Divorce," by C.S. Lewis. Why because I watch LOST and everything that is referenced in Lost has roots. Its all relevant. They are clues.

The great divorce is an allegorical piece about heaven and hell. In the story, the narrator moves from hell to heaven on a bus. Everyone who has chosen to board the bus from hell to heaven has a chance to stay in heaven IF they divorce themselves from the "god" they have allowed to rule their lives i.e. grief, guilt, addiction, etc.. Even though guided by beings who have already achieved great joy and realize the folly of their previous "gods," nearly everyone visiting from hell refuses to let go of his or her baggage and prefers to return to hell.

The book is at most a two hour read and the parallels are significant.

If Losties (characters stranded on the mysterious island on Lost) are indeed dead, their struggle is with themselves and the baggage they carry. Why would Kate want to return to a world where she is a criminal, Jack to a world of disappointment, Sawyer to the life of a conman? Yet, these characteristics are what they are fighting so hard to return to.

Some of those who died on the island, Charlie, Nikki, Eko, all released their baggage and have now gone on to paradise. They had their addictions/evil deeds and confessed in some form on the island. If, indeed, the Losties are in between until each makes a decision, that would explain why no new children are born of inhabitants of the island.

The whispers are those who have gone on to paradise. Abbadon (Satan), a bad guy character in Lost, sent in his hench-woman to tempt people back to hell and that is why John Locke killed her. That is also why he asks Hurley if anyone else was still there-more for him.

A memoire from a while back. Its changed and exaggerated at certain points to cover embarrasing truth, I confess. :) But I was reading it and I was very amused.

A few dollars in my pocket and my immediate bills paid for the next billing cycles, I had the pleasure of attending my brother’s engagement ceremony. It was an absolutely joyous occasion which brought a definite and evident happiness on my moms face. My brother was a step ahead. He was also hyper. A big teddy bear as his fiancé describes it. I personally was so glad that he found someone with such a great personality and understanding of the culture of both worlds. She is educated, and seems to bring out the best in everyone around her. Going to engagement was truly a wonderful experience. Getting there from the farthest point in the continental United States on short nothing was another. It was hard enough finding a good fare let alone seats. My new boss owned several travel agencies, and even he had managed to barely get me a seat. It took me a whole night of flying, along with a part of the morning to get from Seattle to Washington D.C. I changed three planes along the way, one of which was a tiny old Fokker, which made really fear for my tumultuous life. On the way back was worse. I had started out my day promptly at eight thirty in the morning. Taking the train to the airport, boarding a plane to Chicago and getting there earl at elevenish. Not too bad, I thought. My naiveness took over and I assumed smooth sailing from there. Little did I know, my connection was going to be late…and I wouldn’t set foot out of the airport until after ten thirty in the night. Almost eleven and a half hours later. Of course my acquaintances in Chicago were not available, so I gave up hoping to meet with them for a few hours.

My cell phone charger was lodged neatly in the middle of my jacked and sweats, in the bag that I had checked that morning. I turned off my phone, and began a hunt to find an electrical socket in the airport. Funny thing about airports that’s really not very funny. Besides the fact that terminals lack enough electrical sockets in terminals, and given the amount of electric gadgets in use today, the ones that do exist are in the extra ordinary of places. Secretly tucked in behind pillars near garbage cans, in the middle of busy aisles, one the side of information monitors and my favorite place…at the front bottom of the check-in counter at the gate! They had a few that were placed within a proper seating area, but what good is an electrical outlet without electricity, or better yet…and hole in the ground.

I used to love flying. It was an absolute fairy tale experience. I would dream about the moment we were in the air. I loved the smell, and the look of it all at the airport. The stores looked so sophisticated, the food seemed so much better as well as the people, who were way more nicer then in life outside the airport. I always looked forward to riding the escalator or the electronic walkway. It was fascinating. All of it. My views have remained the same except for a few things. I am now older, but have to worry about things other then just waiting from a directional nudge from my dad or my mom to tell me what to do. I have to worry about finding food, making sure I don’t miss my flight and finding a way to get a window seat at all costs.

This blog is largely defunct. I have gone mad, and my mind has cease to function like it is supposed to. I feel alive, but in an ordinary sort of way.

An open letter to the skeptic eye on the Pakistani Pie
boy did that sound dirty

You know, its such a sad and incredibly depressing thing when you can find better news results for Ethiopia and Myanmar. When you try to google pakistan for business news, good business....actually ANY business news is awfully hard to find. Why?

Everything that happens in Pakistan is put under a microscope and analyzed by each and every lunatic, scholar, blogger. This is not a bad thing, but being the center piece on the poorly executed war on terror, doesn't really help. Any car jacking, any kidnapping, any crime and every medium sized event in Pakistan is instantly associated with a failing country full of terrorist sympathizers. Atleast this is the understanding I have gained after trying to search on multiple search engines, that most of the first 10 pages is the same exact news...just a different version by a particular publication. There are plenty and tons of great economic news buried in the back...but one has to SEARCH HARD for it on western media outlets. I mean if I wanted to know about the telecom industry which is booming, and I tried to search the news for it all I would get is 30 google pages of the same story on a suspected terrorist that was arrested in some remote area of northern Pakistan!

I just wanted to share that life goes on, and Pakistan is in a better position then the bigots give it credit for. It has a head strong economy, its people are still proud and its military mighty. Given the chance of a fairer share of the news, Pakistan would be at the forefront of the companies that are about to leap into the industrial nation pool. Indian media and the unhelpful western outlets are pain enough...we have to contend with stupid Pakistanis worried about and too busy expressing their love for or trying to battle or demean another's political affiliation.

Given the consequences Pakistan is in right now, ANY other country would have given up, failed and had broken down into hundreds of tiny pieces about 10 years ago. Its not a miracle that Pakistan survives, its reality that people don't care to see. Everyday journalists love to invoke the name of Pakistan and relating it to terrorism or some juicy story related to a terrorist. Thats all they have. They smear the country with the pile of terrorist rhetoric as they fail to notice the quietly building economic infrastructure supporting and keeping the country alive.